Frumpy Muslim women

There is pressure on the modern Muslim woman to look attractive and fashionable. On one end of the spectrum, there is the glamorous hijabi. She wears snazzy colours, hairbands, dripping jewels, brooches, flowers and sparkling beads. These are a legitimate expression of her femininity. Just because she wears the veil doesn’t mean she needs to wear a bin liner over her head.

On the other end, there are some women who choose to dress plainly and this is acceptable too. Their interpretation of modesty is to wear neutral colours, and very loose material lest they draw attention to themselves. These women may well be attractive underneath this dullness, but their sense of modesty is to dress with demureness.

Unfortunately, there are some men who cannot see past this, at a time when figure-hugging dress is so easily handed on a plate, such as the ubiquitous skinny jeans, which leave little to the imagination.

These men (and women) should realise that “frumpy” Muslim women choose to dress this way, and could quite easily transform themselves into attractive, pouty divas if they wished. They hide their charms for a reason, and their sensuality and overt expression of femininity is reserved for just one special person.

 

 

Self-help ideology

I benefit from a good self-help book and can pick up interesting tips for self improvement. There is a however a fallacy that everything is fixable, or even that some things ought to be fixed. It is titles like Paul McKenna’s “I can make you thin” which make me cringe in particular and sound a little lucrative, and furthermore add to the weight-loss industry.

The main problem is the claim to a universal set of rules in these books. In “The Secret” it says that the application of the “Laws of Attraction” will allow a person to attract whatever she wants just by thinking about it, and other books ensure “getting rich, quick”. The latter type of book cannot ignore the fact that there are deep inequalities within our society which are not easily fixed through some simple rules.

One aspect of the genre talks about the power of positive thinking. As a general point, positive thinking is to be applauded. Pain however is a brute fact of life, and at times ought to be acknowledged, and could otherwise lead to repression. There are specific words in other languages conveying certain types of pain; in German the word “Weltshmertz” means the pain felt for all the suffering in the world.

Iyanla Vanzant’s talks about the low points in our life as ‘valleys’ and acknowledges it is acceptable to sometimes feel at a low. The constant theme of life is the repeated cycle of life and death, which also applies to the emotional state of our health.

Indeed the ‘zeitgeist’ of our times is that things are easily fixable with the click of a button. Take this pill and you will be slim. Go on a holiday and you will no longer be depressed. Have a makeover and you will feel better about yourself. Life is far more unpredictable and certain things are not easily fixed. Sometimes you need to live in a valley in order to see and appreciate the mountain.