On being part gypsy

There is an ongoing tension in my life; Between wanting a life of achievement, characterised by strategies and focus, and between one of exploration and seeing where life takes me.

The former calling is to make it in the not-for-profit sector, and the other calling is a dream like drifting to mountains, seas and lands, metaphorical and physical, and the pursuit of reading, walking, art and staring into stars.

Existing, to love, feel, explore, tremble, meander, to live.

When I find myself unable to focus on career development and seeing it through, particularly during this recession, I think perhaps I should resign myself on the fact that I am part-gypsy. Maybe my life should be about drifting from station to station rather than pursuing a clear, neat career trajectory.

The irony is that I admire those who make it to CEO, who write a novel, get a first for their degree, make it as Emeritus Professors.

But if I chose a life of wandering, I would reflect back on life in my rocking chair, knowing that I hadn’t achieved anything particularly awe-inspiring, but knowing my life was well travelled and lived.

London life

The paradox of London is that different lives exist side by side, where London is at once a horizon of opportunities and also a place of misery and uphill struggle.

In its world of opportunities, London is a place of exhibitions, concerts, events, foods; enriched into the melting pot of life itself, enchantingly engulfed by a colourful set of  characters.

Another is an artificial world of over-stimulation, crowds, survival and the ever elusive lack of time. I have often compromised my dignity on the tube, twisting into awkward shapes to carefully avoid rubbing against another passenger. My body balancing carefully, but inwardly keeling over, ready to collapse.

It’s at times like these I mutter to myself that those who left their high-powered city careers for Cornwall had the correct insight into the Good Life.

You work, eat, sleep, and then work, eat, sleep. I find myself desperately clinging onto my young, vivacious persona from yesteryear and am staring into the face of a woman whose natural zest for life is subjugated, and bruised.

The place I consciously moved to, to live my dream, has become the place within which I am consumed, my dreams forgotten, a forgotten yesterday.

There simply isn’t time to enjoy what London has to offer. It’s as if the high art, culture, places, people, talks and ideas are denied to me, as if I was a little Charlie Bucket peering into a sweet shop, salivating and eagar in anticipation, for delicious delights which I cannot have.

 

Last day to vote

The word ‘power’ evokes my days at SOAS and particularly the first Stop the War demonstration I attended. The crowd chanted:

Power to the People

Cos the People got the Power

Tell me can you feel it

It’s getting louder by the hour

Indeed people do have power. There are things we can do to fix our broken politics and one of those is voting in POWER2010′s campaign for political and democratic reform at here. You have until midnight tonight to vote

I voted for:

Strengthen Parliamentary Select Committee

Scrapping ID cards and rolling back the database state

More free votes in the House of Commons

Give more decision making and taxation powers to local government

Farewell

I am an explorer at heart. I have explored myself in this writing and feel it’s now time to say bye and go onto new pastures.

At the moment, my heart is generally at ease. You see, I feel connected to my writing when there is an upsurge or welling of emotion that I need to express and extinguish. At the moment, there is no upsurge of emotion or burst of thoughts. I don’t believe in writing for the sake of it.

I have far too many scattered energies and currently would like to focus on just a few things and do them well. Even writing a not-so-regular blog distracts me at times.

When I first started writing on this blog I was frustrated with life and my blog was an excellent catharsis. These days, by the grace of Allah, my inner life is calmed somewhat so I no longer feel the need to write in this particular narrative.

I also started a blog because I wished to talk about social, political and legal issues which are important to me and which I wish to draw attention to. I will start a new blog at some point in the near future, which will be less about me, and more about the external world, where I make that intention more of a reality.

Farewell and thanks for reading and commenting.

Twilight’s theme of sexual restraint

Twilight’s overly romantic nature gets much criticism and ridicule. I admit that the series can be a little far-fetched at times.

There is one theme which does deserve some praise though, which is that of sexual restraint. In the first film, we are under the impression that Edward resists intimate relations for fear of harming Bella. It is explained in the novels however that he is waiting to consummate his love after marriage.

Waiting to consumate your love after marriage is a concept which is virtually non-existent in these times, so it is refreshing that Meyer promoted this idea in her books. I salute her for this. She is instead criticised for promoting her Mormon values. If other writers can glorify and promote their views on promiscuity and sexual exploration, why cannot other writers promote their views on chastity before marriage?

I have never met the teenage girls who adore the books so I do not know whether this concept has had an affect on them. However, the introduction of this idea can only be a good thing, at a time when some are sadly trying to get rid of their virginity to the first person who comes along. For those who are not religiously inclined or do not believe in celibacy before marriage, this theme can also be interpreted as promoting sexual relations with the one whom you are in a committed and loving relationship.

I must add that Edward Cullen’s chivalrous nature is very pleasing too, and might instruct others on the heroic male archetype in today’s ambiguous gender dynamics. Men take note.

The brave girl’s reflections (part 2)

The brave girl sat down on a bed of golden leaves and reflected on her journey up the mountain:

1) She had yearned to climb the mountain her whole life but the village-folk had deterred her

Sometimes people are well meaning and not so well meaning when they advise you against pursuing a burning ambition, calling or higher purpose. Do not be swayed by naysayers as they do not understand your insight or higher sense of purpose; some wish to live the simple, easy and honest existence, and others have a higher calling.  People are cut from a different cloth.

2) The summit was much higher than she had ever imagined

Sometimes we undertake a substantial task, project or feat and we never imagined how arduous it might be, as there was no way of knowing before we had set out on that particular journey. This does not justify giving up on that particular goal; we must encourage ourselves to reach that goal when glorious things await us.

3) She had experienced physical pain and hardship when climbing up the mountain

The mundane life is easy and free of genuine hardship. But those who embark on a substantial task or feat must often undertake self-sacrifice during that process. If you wish to achieve the incredible know that it is not easy.

4) She looked forward to take her new-found knowledge back to her village-folk

Many people prefer to stay in their own circle, whether that be friendship group, city or country. Although the village-folk had asked her to stay back, she had ventured out of her circle and as a result had acquired a new-found knowledge which would them benefit them greatly. In order to grow as people and achieve wisdom, we need to immerse ourselves in new and strange settings from time to time. The ‘sublime knowledge’ is a metaphor for the wisdom and experiental learning she had gained climbing up the mountain.